Illusions and HalfTruths
by Krac
Summary: --FIN-- Will Cypher and Colossus stay with the X-Men? Will there finally be some Romy? Will Anyone actually read this?
1. Best You Can Get

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Disclaimer….Yeah right…a talentless hack like me owns the X-men….that'll be the day I pay off my student loans.  

Author's note: Alrighty, so now we embark on the second story in my arc…I know that I left out a lot in 'Shadows and Fog'…like several weeks passing between Cypher's first training session with Gambit and the attack on the Friends of Humanity.  There was a point to it…all will eventually be revealed…and yes…eventually there will be Romy…I just have to get Rogue and Gambit into the same room…

Thanks to all who have generously given me reviews…and shame on those who haven't…SHAME!

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**Illusions and Half-Truths**

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**One**

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The incessant buzzing of Asli's alarm clock announced the unwelcome arrival of six am.  Rolling over with a groan she silenced the appliance and snuggled deeper into the warm blankets to go back to sleep.  Unfortunately, someone chose that moment to tug on those very blankets and disturb Asli's snooze, "Come on wake up…You don't want to be late for the Danger Room."

Asli didn't have to lift her head to know that it was her 'roommate' Jean Grey trying yet again to convince her that waking up before dawn was a good thing-at least Magneto had let his Acolytes sleep until eight-and he was certifiable.  The blankets moved again to no avail, Asli was simply refusing to move at the red head's request.

The tugging stopped and Asli sighed happy to be left alone but that feeling didn't last long as she was lifted into the air then dropped onto the floor.  _Maybe I shouldn't piss off the telekinetic?_ Asli wondered to herself as she watched Jean bounce out of the room already in her uniform.  Despite her dislike of being thrown out of bed Asli knew very well she wouldn't stop tugging 'Perfect' Jean's tail…it was just too much fun.

Standing a stretching Asli began pulling on her black battle gear-more Lycra than spandex-that was a privilege not a right -and prepared to face the day the way she had every other this week.  As slowly as possible.

In the hallway Asli lifted her bleary eyes and caught sight of the hulking form of the other resident escaped Acolyte-she smiled ruefully when he nodded to her, "God this is evil Pete…. It could almost make a girl nostalgic for Magneto."

"I would not go that far," he frowned down at Asli before allowing his face to break into the small smile he often favored her with, "But it would be nice to sleep later. Cyclops snores."

Asli snorted with laughter knowing full well that the X-Men's team leader and his girlfriend had that trait in common.  "I can't wait till they decide to trust us…Jean's getting on my nerves."

"Cyclops has no sense of humor." Pitor intoned quietly so only Asli could hear.

The hacker had to bite down to keep from laughing out loud; if the serious man beside her found someone humorless it had to mean something.  "Well come on it's time for our sanctioned torture."  Asli nodded towards the elevator leading to the X-Mansion's lower levels.

The two 'reformed' bad guys plodded forward together to face another day.

*****************

Freshly scrubbed and caffeinated Asli knocked firmly on the door to Professor Charles Xavier's office' having survived yet another rigorous morning training with the X-Men.  "Come in Asli," the Professor's cultured voice called out to her.

Entering Asli couldn't help a smart comment, "How'd you guess?"

Leaning back in his wheelchair the telepath smiled gently, "I couldn't sense anyone when you knocked-process of elimination."

"Sometimes being a null just isn't as handy as you'd like," she moved forward and claimed a seat across from the desk.

"Actually," thankfulness tinted the Professor's words, "I find it refreshing to let down my shields a bit around you-it's been years since I had a regular conversation with someone."

Asli nodded knowing just how useful her indecipherable mind was sometimes.  "Is that why you paired me up with Jean? Other than to keep an eye on me, I mean?"

"Very astute of you to notice." Xavier replied happy not to sense any hostility in Asli's voice, "I hope you understand my desire to ensure the safety of those I care for."

"Of course I do Chuck," Asli drawled abbreviating his name out of sheer laziness, "Which is why I'm here."

The professor seemed happy with her getting down to business, "Why you and Colossus are really here."

"Good guess."

"Well it seemed far fetched even for Magnus to attack his own." Xavier countered referring to the incident that had lead to Asli and Pitor's defection.

Asli smiled liking the fact that Magneto had not in fact pulled the wool over the eyes of his old friend-it made her job so much easier.  "The original plan was for me to get close to Cerebro and the rest of your computer systems and feed him information.  I didn't like that plan."

"You could have done that easily-alone," Xavier nodded spinning possibilities through his mind, "What was Colossus' duty?"

With a self deprecating grin Asli shrugged, "Of course I could have.  Pitor was supposed to keep an eye on me.  Bucket-Head was just too confident about our obedience that I got curious…so I sorted through all of good old Magnus' files…I didn't like what I found.  I want to turn the tables on him-but for that I need your help."

"What did you find?" Xavier was curious and pleased to have such a powerful ally against Magneto.

Asli took a deep breath, "You know that he used my implants against me to 'encourage' me to cooperate with him."

"Yes."

"Most of the other Acolytes are in the same position-except for Sabertooth who does it for kicks.  Shit, he even used emotional blackmail to get his son in on it all." Asli frowned referring to the boy she knew as Quicksilver; "That pissed me off.  I got even more pissed when I discovered that he was using Pyro Gambit's pasts against them." The professor nodded and Asli continued, "But what really got to me was how he got Pitor."

The fact that Asli had not used his codename did not go unnoticed but he Professor let her continue, "At first I thought it was because of his physiology that Pitor was stuck with the Acolyte's.  But the truth was that big guy's little sister was sick-no one could figure out what was wrong with her.  Then out of the blue Magneto appears and in return for Bucket-head taking care of the girl Pitor gave up his freedom."

"That's a touching story." Xavier sighed wishing he could think the tale an exaggeration-but he knew Magneto was not the man that had once been his friend.

Unable to control it Asli could feel the anger of this discovery like it was the first time, "But I know where he's got Illyana hidden away.  I want you to rescue her."

"The X-Men will do their best, Asli." The older man had to admire the girl's determination to help her friend.

"I know you will." Asli felt some of her burden lighten at long last, "That's why you'll understand when I go back to the Acolytes once the child is secure."

Xavier's eyebrows quirked upwards drastically, "We could find another way…"

"No," Asli frowned and opened up just a little, "I was taught you don't leave anyone behind.  I may have turned my back on the majority of my upbringing but I can't forget this.  I just want your blessing to leave when it's time and your word that you will care for Pitor and his sister."

"Of course Asli," The professor was genuinely moved by the hacker's request, "I will do anything I can to help you."

An authentic smile lit Asli's elfin face, "I was hoping you'd say that."

"Why?"

"I want Rogue to come with me." Silence, heavy and thick crashed into the room as the words were spoken.  For once in his long life Charles Xavier thoroughly regretted offering his aid to someone in need.


	2. If it Isn't Her

You can find the disclaimer on the first page…where you in theory started reading this….

So things are progressing nicely.  I have this and the next story all planned out…muhahahahahahaha.  

Thanks to my reviewers Samm16, bad-girl4 and treacle-antlers for stroking my ego and encouraging me to continue.

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**Two**

Curiosity killed the cat; but as Kitty Pryde watched the former Acolyte Pitor hunch over his sketchbook she sincerely hoped it wouldn't this particular time.  She was dying to know just what it was that the quiet Russian was so intent on.  "What ya drawing?" she tapped him softly on the shoulder not wanting to surprise him.

Even with her care his deep blue eyes looked troubled as he hid the paper in his hands, "It is nothing important."

"You like be totally hiding it if it was nothing," the brunette put her hands on her hips and stared at Pitor until he blushed.

Slowly he uncovered the sketch so that the girl could see.  Kitty's breath caught in her throat-she had never thought that the large man would be capable of such beauty. It was a portrait of Cypher.  Each pencil stroke was delicate and precise lending the face a vulnerability that it owner hardly ever showed-except perhaps through Pitor's eyes.  Kitty could honestly say she hadn't thought of Asli as beautiful until now.  

"Wow…" Kitty was for once without words.  Like the others she had seen how close the large Russian and wiry hacker were-but she had assumed it was because they felt left out with the X-Men.  But the proof was right there in front of her-there was more to their silent, easy camaraderie than anyone knew-at least for Pitor there was.

Concern shadowed Pitor's even features; making it obvious that he showed his art to few, "You like it?"

Settling for a quick nod instead of words Kitty tried to form a sentence that would express just how talented she thought he was. Instead she just blurted out the first thing that came to mind, "She's like totally beautiful to you."

"Yes." 

Kitty let out a deep sigh; her heart fluttering at the look of naked adoration on the Russian's face-she had seen that look on a man's face before.  It was the look of a man falling in love so fast he hadn't even noticed it.  It appealed to the hopeless romantic underneath the Valley girl-instantly convincing her that it was up to her to see Pitor's wishes into reality.  "If you like her why don't you just like ask Asli out?"

"It is complicated." Pitor didn't hide his surprise at Kitty's bold question, "I helped bring her to Magneto…Put her in a position that caused her pain."

"Petey," Kitty rolled her eyes and sighed again-why did men have to make things so difficult? "You didn't have much choice about it.  Asli's a smart girl-I doubt she'd even be your friend if she really blamed you for that."

He shook his large head guiltily not wanting to see reason and turned away from the young girl.  Unwilling to give up that easily Kitty moved and stood directly in front of Pitor, "Now like listen up.  When Lance and I were together we were like on totally different sides…and even though we sometimes had to fight against each other it didn't mean we like didn't care or anything-it was just business.  You know like the Godfather." With these words Kitty realized just how much she had missed Avalanche since their breakup. "If you don't at least admit to Asli that you totally dig her-how can you expect her to give you chance?"

"What if there is no chance?" Pitor's eyes were dark and serious, "There is not always a happy ending little Kat."

Hands on her hips Kitty was a tiny, unstoppable force.  "You won't know unless you ask her."

Pitor gazed at the picture in his hands and decided to speak his mind to Cypher at long last.

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Hand to her mouth Asli listened at the rec room door her heart beating in her throat as Pitor bared his soul to Kitty.  

"She's like totally beautiful to you."

"Yes." 

Panic spread through Asli like a forest fire-she had known from the beginning that there was some chemistry between herself and the Russian strong man.  Pitor's innocence inspired an overwhelming desire in Asli to protect him at any cost.  It was that urge that made keeping his sister safe by double crossing Magneto seem like a priority instead of folly.

Yes, she felt some affection towards Pitor-his presence was steadying-he made Asli feel comfortable and safe.  Pitor was solid; not just his mass but his quietness, intelligence he was the whole package.  He was someone that Asli could discuss literature with-they often would sit in silence together reading the same book so that they could debate its strengths and weaknesses.  But was all of that enough? 

Would that gentle affection be worth dropping all of her shields? Would Pitor still care if he knew what lay underneath the façade Asli affected so that no one would see the monster Weapon X had created.  If anyone knew what she had done to stay alive-the pieces of her soul that she had destroyed to make each day possible.  Asli shuddered and tried to repress all thoughts about her past with the determination born of need-remembering made it all real.  

"Asli?" 

Jumping a mile the hacker faced Rogue who had an interested eyebrow raised at Asli's eavesdropping.  "Shh!" The hacker hissed waving a hand to silence the Goth.

"What are ya'll doin? Is that Kitty and Pitor?" The younger girl tried to see into the Rec room.

Making a spilt second decision Asli pulled Rogue towards the kitchen by her heavily covered arm-she was not in the mood to have to face Pitor with Kitty by his side ready to back up his romantic intentions.  As soon as they passed over the threshold Rogue wrestled her arm back, "What the hell was that for?"

"Kitty has convinced Pitor to ask me out." Asli groaned.

"About time." Rogue snorted trying to understand the raw panic on the other girl's face-she thought it would be natural for the two Acolytes to get together.

Asli paced the tiles in an attempt to calm her nerves, "I can't date Pitor." 

"Why not?" Rogue shook her head trying hard to understand; in the few weeks since Asli's defection the girls had begun a tentative friendship, "Don't ya like him?"

Hanging her head Asli scrubbed a hand through her short hair; "That's not the point Rogue. I can't get close to him like that.  It's too dangerous."

"You're preachin' to the choir Sugah," Rogue drawled with a quick glance at her gloved hands, "But it ain't like with me.  Ya'll **could** have a relationship."

Not wanting to fight Asli let her mask drop and let the southerner see just how empty she was, "No Rogue. I can't.  Do you think he would care if he knew what I really am?"

Rogue took it all in quietly-she'd seen that look before but it usually belonged to hardened souls-Logan had it when he didn't think people were looking, so did Mystique, Colonel Fury and Sabertooth.  It saddened Rogue to see that coldness in someone so young.  "That's the most I've heard you say about your past."

"It's not exactly polite dinner conversation," Asli shrugged pulling the layers of her constructed personality around her like a shield more for Rogue's benefit than her own, "I'm not a whole person, it would be unfair…Pitor deserves better than me."

"So what ya'll are tellin' me is that you are gonna break the heart of a nice guy who worships the ground you walk on?" Rogue shook her head but could see Asli's logic-though it was certain no one else would.

Asli offered the Goth a smile smile-Rogue had seen her real face and hadn't run-maybe the urge to trust her wasn't misplaced.  "If he's lucky, yes I will."


	3. Walk Away

Teehee…Please, please don't kill me for this…I couldn't help myself…At least no I can start working on some Romy-ness…

Thanks Prplpenguin56 for the feedback…more…more Reviews I say…tell your friends….Give me reviews!!!!!!!!! 

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**Three**

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Chomping on an unlit cigar Wolverine shook his head gently, "Kidnapping a sick girl seems low even for Magneto, Chuck."

"Indeed Logan it does," Xavier sighed deeply, "Is there any reason we should doubt Asli's word that the girl was kidnapped?"

Logan shifted uncomfortably; it was highly improbable that Asli Fraser would ever lie about something like this even to save her own hide.  He could see her lying about weapons of mass destruction but not about a child being ripped away from its home-that would hit too close for home for the girl.  "No. That's not her style."

"If you don't mind me asking what is her style?" Charles frowned wanting to know more about the hacker before trusting her with the safety of one of his students.

"As far as I know she was acquired by the program when she was eight." Logan wrinkled his forehead trying to remember, "This was before X-23-I'm not even sure it was a full branch of weapon X.  I know the doctor in charge Carter messed around with her genetic code and added all the implants-but I don't know what they all do beside speed up her reflexes."

"You've recovered these memories?"

Making a point to stare at his feet Logan shook his head, "Nah, the kid found me when I was off looking for some answers last year…She gave me all the info she had…We're talking flies-even video tape Chuck. It jogged my memory real fast.  I wanted to kill that son of a bitch Carter…"

Xavier frowned-Logan was defiantly projecting homicidal feelings about the Doctor, "I'm afraid I have to ask…But did you?"

"Nah," Logan reined in his emotions through sheer dint of will, "When I asked where he was Asli went weird on me…Apparently the whole operation was shut down by an accident which happened to kill Mengele Junior and provide a handy distraction while Asli made her escape."

"When was this?" the telepath wondered a loud.

Logan concentrated, "The kid would have been fourteen.  She's been on her own living in the shadows since then. That's why I don't think she'd lie about this Chuck-Asli's got a thing for protecting innocent kids…it's as if she's trying to stop what they did to her from happening again."

Xavier could feel the truth in the feral mutant's words-he simply could not abandon an innocent girl to Magneto's whims, "Alright then Logan," he pushed a folder towards the other man, "Cypher has given us the co-ordinates and security specifications of the base Illyana is being held in.  Are you willing to retrieve her?"

"Course Chuck."  Logan stood and flexed looking forward to the fight ahead-life at the Mansion was making him soft.  That was if you discounted the ever ready vigilance needed to stave off pranks pulled by the new recruits.  "I'll leave in a few hours."

The Professor was about to answer when his office phone rang.  Grimacing apologetically he picked up the receiver, "Charles Xavier."

"Professor Xavier?" a male voice queried on the other end-with his advanced senses Logan had no trouble hearing it, "This is Warren Worthington…"

"Ahh, yes Angel," Xavier smiled remembering the winged mutant millionaire, "Do what do I owe this pleasure?" 

There was a pause, "I didn't know who else to call actually.  Someone broke into my home last night…"

Xavier frowned, "Was anything taken?"

"That's why I'm calling," Worthington replied tiredly, "It was just an old box…but I have the best security money can buy…I have no clue how someone could have gotten in to take it.  I was wondering if you could send someone to help me recover the item."

Logan nodded enthusiastically-he knew exactly who should play detective this time, "Chuck why don't' you send Cypher and Rogue…Give them time to work together.  If all goes well…" 

He didn't have to finish the thought. Charles inclined his head, it was a perfect solution, it helped Angel and gave Cypher a chance to gain his trust and Rogue's.  "Warren? I can send you young Rogue-you met her already and Cypher as early as tonight.  They will do their best to assist you."

"Thank you Professor," some of the strain in Worthington's voice ebbed away, "I'll ready guest rooms for them so they can stay here."

They disconnected.  Xavier gazed at the phone in his hand and thanked Fortune for smiling on him.  "Logan before you leave can you have Rogue and Cypher come for a briefing?"

"Sure, Chuck." Logan stood gracefully, "You know when push comes to shove Stripes will go with Cypher if she thinks she can do some good."

Xavier nodded knowing full well that Rogue would be the first to offer aid if the cause was worthy.  Sitting back in his wheelchair the telepath couldn't help a tired sigh, "In the end it will have to be Rogue's decision. We have given all of the X-men the knowledge and skills to choose their own paths."

Both men silently prayed that the young Goth would make the right choice.

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Slowly shutting the door Asli shook her head in disbelief that Professor Xavier was allowing her and Rogue to leave his sphere of influence even for the briefest time since she had expressed an interest in the girl.  _Smooth Chuck, she thought walking beside Rogue towards the dorms to pack for their trip, __Test my loyalty and hers in one shot.  "This should be fun," Asli broke the silence-after all it was a free trip to New York City._

"Until the other shoe drops you mean?" Rogue drawled not as assuredly as she would have hoped-but here she was being offered a nearly unchaperoned visit into New York City on a silver platter-but she couldn't find any joy in it.

"Oh come on! Like you aren't looking forward to being out from Logan's all Seeing Eye.  It's time to let our hair down," Asli waved her hands theatrically.

In spite of herself had a feeling that this trip would be a good mix of business and pleasure-ever since her psyche induced 'breakdown' she had felt confined in the Mansion.  The prospect of some time in NYC even if it meant having to drudge around Angel's security systems was enough to temp a saint.

Rogue could feel her resolve slipping away inch by inch-it's not like she was Jean-perfect, rule abiding and boring as spit.  She deserved some fun in her life.  A trained observer could have pinpointed the exact moment that the Goth buckled under the onslaught of Asli's enthusiasm.  "Maybe I could finally get my belly button pierced…"

"That's my girl! Fight conformity!" Asli grinned widely happy to have a chance to avoid Pitor's attentions and the sticky situation that could bring, "I know some cool clubs on the eastside…very dark and very loud."

Rogue pushed back her white forelock and choked back her comment about the advisability of taking her poisonous skin into a crowded night club-especially since it was attached to her under age body. Mostly because Asli had stopped dead in her tracks and the hulking form of Colossus was making it's determined way towards them.  "Umm, I think I'm gonna go pack." Rogue backed away to allow privacy, "Why don't we meet in the garage in an hour?"

Asli nodded distantly but her eyes were locked on Pitor.  He smiled softly, "Were you leaving without telling me?" 

"The Professor wants Rogue and I to check out a security breech for a friend of his-it was kind of last minute." Asli hedged wanting to be anywhere but in the hallway right then.

Pitor stared down at Asli intently, "There was something I wanted to ask of you."

"Pitor…" Asli stammered struck by how close together they were standing.

"Shh…" His put a gentle finger to her lips to stop the torrent of words, "I understand that you heard Kitty and I talking…I do not want to rush you.  But know that I will be here when you are ready."

He leaned downwards, moving his hand along Asli's chin to rest against her neck.  So slowly that Asli felt aniticipation shooting through her every limb Pitor kissed her lips.  At first he was gentle and Asli could not help but return the kiss-emotion churning her stomach-but the passion built between them and the kiss deepened.  

Asli was about to curl her arms around Pitor's waist to pull her body closer when she stopped-this could not happen.  She knew full well the lengths the Russian would go to for those he loved-and there was no way Asli wanted to be used against him-or to have him used against her.  The need to protect Pitor even from loving her was a splash of cold water on Asli's heart and she forced herself to pull away.  

Without a word Asli pushed past Pitor and walked towards her room feeling his deep eyes boring into her back with each step.  It took all her strength not to turn back and fall into his arms-to take all that his kiss had promised.  She slammed the door to the room she shared with Jean shut behind her and hoped that Pitor would leave before she had to meet Rogue. 

The beating of her heart signaled that the closeness they had felt had become more.  Ruthlessly Asli crushed that new born sentiment-she had seen the ravages of love firsthand-and she cared too much about Pitor to make him a causality of that particular war.


	4. Beautiful

Note:  Okay this took a bit longer than I had planned…But I was unavoidably detained by life.  Thank you to my reviewers Bad-girl4 and Ishandahalf …teehee…who else would steal it? I will admit that I choose obscure music to say the least…but it all is worth checking out (Especially the Ben Harper song…).   Here's some more cool beans… 

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**Four**

The three hour drive into New York City had been yawn inducing in its uneventfulness; only Rogue's iron self control had kept her from pumping Asli for details of her 'discussion' with Pitor.  Rogue had taken one look at the conflict in the other girl's eyes before deciding to let the sleeping dog lie-it would be easier to call Kitty at the mansion to get the low down than to talk Asli into divulging her feelings.

Warren Worthington himself had been waiting to lead the girls to his penthouse when they arrived-a small indicator of how much this security breach affected him.  Men hiding sixteen foot wings enjoyed their privacy.  He had warmly welcomed them as he stalked through the lavish interior of his building; Asli had followed at his heels without a word.

Rogue had to hand it to Asli-the girl was a total social chameleon-gone was the biting sense of humor most often displayed by the hacker in favor of a quieter, thoughtful persona.  Within the paneled walls of Warren Worthington's New York penthouse Asli was cool as a cucumber, her eyes flicking to measure the 'hidden' motion detectors. Her blank face gave nothing away to the casual observer.   Asli's high heels clicked lightly on the parquet floor as she moved. 

In contrast, Rogue was happy that living at Xavier's Mansion had immured her to opulence otherwise she would have stared open mouthed at the valuable antiques.  And while her friend had opted to wear a fitted black suit and play adult, Rogue had clung to her jeans and sneakers.  The Goth knew it wasn't intentional but next to Asli she felt like a great clomping elephant. 

Dutifully, the young women followed the broad back of the winged mutant as he showed them around, "And here is your room," He turned and smiled apologetically, "I hope you don't mind sharing.  Penthouses aren't what they used to be."

"Property taxes must be a real bitch around here," Rogue drawled; not even the Professor could afford to live in Warren's neighborhood to her knowledge.

Warren let out a loud belly laugh-bushing a stray lock of blonde hair out of his eyes, "It'd be cheaper to sleep in Central Park…"

"Even counting the muggings," Asli entered the spacious room and set her bag on the first twin bed but she didn't sit-she seemed too tightly wound to relax.

"Crime is down in the city," Warren's mouth quirked as if he was fighting a bigger smile than the one he already wore, "Not that you could tell here."

Rogue frowned at this serious note interrupting the agreeable time they had been beginning to have, "Warren, don't worry-We'll figure this out and find your box thing…and whoever took it."

"Speaking of," Asli pulled a note pad out of her bag and frowned at the page-right down to business, "I'll need your security tapes and the list of visitors to the building for that day and the five days previous.  Did you find any clues or evidence when you discovered the break in?"

Warren put a hand to the back of his neck and looked almost sheepish, "You mean anything I didn't hand over to the police?"

Asli's eyebrow shot up but she didn't say anything she didn't have to-the censure in her eyes was all that was needed.  Rogue shifted uncomfortably in the silence not sure what to make of the rapid personality change her partner was going through. 

"I found this-I held it back because it seemed so trivial," Warren fumbled in his pocket and drew out a plastic bag and handed it to Asli, "Does it tell you anything?"

Rogue moved so she would have a better view of the package in the other girl's hand-sucking in a deep breath when she finally did.  Both girls knew exactly who had broken in-and they had a good idea why he had done it as well.  Rogue worried that Asli wouldn't be able to function with perfect detachment-hell; she worried that she wouldn't either.  But looking down at the King of Hearts that Warren had so carefully preserved Rogue knew one thing for certain-Gambit was in New York and Magneto couldn't be far behind.

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"Asli?" Rogue knocked softly on the bathroom door the next morning-her roommate had been in there for quite a while, in fact Asli hadn't spoken much since the night before.  The calling card had been a shock.

No answer was forth coming and Rogue tried the handle with trepidation not wanting to invade the other girl's privacy but wanting to make sure nothing was wrong.  The door slid open; Asli was sitting on the edge of the bathtub wrapped in a large fluffy towel staring at her arms in a trace.  It's those arms that cause Rogue to suck in a deep breath-realization dawning that Asli's all covering clothing had been hiding something as dangerous as Rogue's own poison skin.  

Scars-some thin and slivery, others thick and white run up the girl's pale skin from her calves to the tips of her fingers.  Rogue shifted trying to comprehend the pain this hidden road map marks the motion allowed her a view of Asli's back-tears welled in her green eyes at the puckered angry mass peeking out from under the towel.  It doesn't look like the hacker has an inch of skin unmarked.

Stumbling backwards sorry for intruding on the other girl's reflecting Rogue accidentally knocked a glass vase over; sending it crashing to the floor.  Asli's head jerked up, her trance broken; taking in the younger girl's horrified expression she shrugged but didn't try to cover her skin. Most people wore that same disgusted and fascinated look when confronted with the extent of her injury-the physical expression of her emotional emptiness.  "It's okay Rogue, take a good look.  Logan would have them too if it wasn't for his healing factor." 

Rogue nodded but didn't say anything-she had enough of Wolverine's memories in her head for it to ring true…she had known that the actions of the Program had been monstrous…but to do that to a child? It was a chilling reminder of what humans were capable of when they set their minds to cruelty.  For a moment the young X-Man could empathize with Magneto, Mystique and those like them who fought to make mutants 'Homo Superior'-in a world like that Asli would never have had to suffer what she had to have suffered.

"Tell you what," Asli smiled sadly in the face of Rogue's pity-she decided to ignore it-that was always the best course of action, "Once I'm dressed why don't' we head out and do some shopping…Once it gets dark I want to ask a few people if Gambit's been making himself known in these parts," she shook her head at Rogue's jeans and sneakers, "And you won't be able to come if we can't at least make you look twenty one."

The unspoken plea for Rogue to put this demon back into its box was loud and clear-she could not ignore it, "Sure thing, I can't wait to put the Big Apple on its ear."

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"Hey Cypher long time no see _chica_!" Rogue turned as a lean dark skinned woman called out to her companion self-consciously pulling her new black leather jacket tighter.  They had finished their shopping hours ago-now it was time to visit all of Asli's old contacts and find Gambit.

Asli smiled to acknowledge the woman standing outside a dark doorway who was holding on to her cigarette for warmth. Her demeanor loosening in the same way that Rogue had noticed it icing up for Warren, "I've been busy Carmen, what the hell are you doing smoking out here in the middle of winter?"

Carmen pulled her fur coat closer to her body and frowned, "It's that _Puto I work for-he says we can't smoke inside no more…it's a health code violation." She punctuated the disgust in her voice with a deep drag as if she did it out of spite._

"Speaking of," Asli continued, "Is the Bird Man in tonight or is he off 'attending to business'?"

"I wouldn't be out here if that rat wasn't here kid," Carmen tossed the cigarette, "Since when do you work with a partner?"

A small shrug lifted the hacker's shoulders, "Just doing my bit to corrupt the youth of America.  Can I see him?"

Rogue noticed that Carmen's long nails had been painted a bright garish red as she waved a hand towards the door, "Go ahead girl, feel free to take a bite out of his ass.  Somebody has to know that little weasel down a peg or two."

"I thought that was your job?" Asli quipped as she pulled on the heavy metal door and waved a hand to Rogue indicating that they had to enter, "This shouldn't take too long. Good seeing you Carmen."

Rogue tucked a flyaway piece of white hair behind her ear and ducked into the darkness of the stairwell ahead of Asli.  Within the warm blackness Rogue could feel the pulsating music of the hidden club; slowly she began navigating the narrow steps downwards.  When the girls reached the bottom of the stairs a door appeared pecked out in red light Asli grinned and rested her hand on the handle, "You ready for this?"

"Some good old fashioned teenaged rebellion?" Rogue lifted an eyebrow knowing exactly how the Professor and Wolverine would see her going to an underground club-even if it was X-Man related, "I'm always ready."

Asli swung the door open and Rogue walked through it crashing right into the person who had been about to exit.  The deep, smoky sent of rolled tobacco mixed with cloves filled her nostrils as Rogue found her nose buried in a very muscular male chest.  "Sorry," She muttered and backed away to regain her treasured personal space.

"No problem _Chère_," a familiar Cajun accent replied silkily.

Rogue's heart shot into her throat-they had found Gambit.


	5. Breathe In

Note: Two parts in one day Yippy! I finally got Rogue and Gambit in the same room! Alright everyone how is this progressing for you? Does it seem to fast or just right? Are my characters a bit OOC? Am I simply a Looney who needs to be kept away from the computer so I can never post again?  I'm craving specifics…Please.

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**Five**

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Rogue narrowed her eyes and glared through the cigarette smoke as Asli and Gambit talked about everything but the break in.  She couldn't believe how chummy they were-sure, they had been friends while Asli had been an Acolyte-but they were on different sides now.  Every once and a while she could feel Gambit's strange red and black eyes turned towards her but Rogue steadfastly ignored him-after all, he had nearly blown her hand off.  But the way he looked at her made her feel like he wished they were playing footsies under the table.

"You know _petite, things just aren't the same without you around," he touched Asli's hand gently and Rogue felt a flash of anger that she would allow him such easy familiarity.  _

For her part Asli was unreadable even with a small smile on her lips as she took in her friend's breath-taking eyes, "I see Mags still hasn't gotten you a new image inducer…I suppose I should be sorry for frying your other one."

"Remy was more put out by your bellow the belt kick _petite_," Rogue took some satisfaction in the grimace that touched his smooth features with this memory.  Imagining giving Gambit a good root in the crotch brought a small smile to her face.

"You probably deserved it swamp rat," Rogue muttered wishing that she would be allowed to recreate the incident but she settled for fidgeting with her gloves meaningfully, "You gonna tell us why you broke into Angel's or am I gonna have to find out for myself?"

Asli shook her head at the girl's readiness to fight, "That's not going to be necessary Rogue.  I know why Remy did it."

Rogue turned her green eyes on her partner wondering just where her loyalties lay; "You planning on telling me?"

"Remy had to get your attention somehow _Chère_," Gambit smiled smoothly causing Rogue to snort in disgust which only made him smile more, "Ya'll are too beautiful to be so rude _Chère."_

Rogue glared at him to no avail, "You must be desperate to call me beautiful swamp rat.  Now what did you mean about getting our attention?"

Gambit smirked and leaned back in his chair silently-refusing to answer her question.  Rogue growled in frustration and sincerely yearned to punch the smug look off of the Cajun's face, "What is he talking about Asli?" she ground out restraining herself-barely.

Asli sighed taking a sip of her drink before beginning, "Gambit broke into Angel's as a signal for me to meet him here tonight-we arranged it before I left the Acolytes."

This information took Rogue aback-why would they arrange to meet weeks ago when they didn't know they wouldn't still be teammates.  All the dots connected and Rogue shot out of her seat; her eyes blazing with betrayal, "It was all arranged! Magneto did all of it just so ya'll could switch sides…So you could tap into Cerebro…I can't believe the Professor didn't see it!"

"I'm a telepathic null Rogue, he couldn't get it from me…and Pitor didn't know," Asli continued sitting calmly as if she was talking about the weather instead of her duplicity to those who had taken her in-of betraying even poor love struck Pitor.

Rogue stood quickly searching for her nearest exit, "I'm warning the Professor…I won't let you get away with this."

"I already told him," Asli's voice was even calculated to make Rogue feel like she was overreacting-it almost worked.

Rogue snorted and plastered her most skeptical look on her face, "Like I'd believe that."

"It's true," the hacker shrugged gently; ignoring the venom Rogue was spitting at her, "I told him everything.  You guessed most of it on your own but you didn't get the part about me only giving bucket head the info Professor X wants him to have."

"And why should I believe you?" Rogue reigned in a small measure of her anger-why did everyone who got close to her have so many ulterior motives?

"Why not _Chère," Gambit piped up as he languidly rolled another cigarette finally breaking into the conversation, "You think de Acolytes like working for a madman?"_

Rogue pushed some of her white hair behind her ears so that she could focus her glare on Gambit uninterrupted, "I think ya'll are a bunch of criminals…"

"Den you're not looking close enough _Chère_," Gambit looked sad for a minute causing anger to flare through Rogue-how dare he judge her!

"I don't have to look far to see a lyin', thievin', piece of swamp trash-you're sitting right across from me." Rogue shot back heatedly.

 "What about Pitor?" Asli broke in talking so low that Rogue could barely hear her, "Do you think he's a criminal Rogue?"

The younger mutant bit back the next thing she was going to say as she conjured up an image of the quiet Russian.  No, Rogue's instincts told her that he was not a criminal-that he was just in the wrong place at the wrong time.  But she had been so convinced that Asli was on her side as well…and that Risty had been her friend…Rogue had been betrayed by those she trusted too many times to trust her instincts any more. 

"Magneto abducted his sick sister and forced him to become an Acolyte Rogue," if Rogue hadn't known better she would have said actual tears were forming in the Hacker's grey eyes, "Pitor was only there to try and protect his little sister…a part of my deal with Xavier was that he rescue the girl and shelter her and Pitor while I returned to Magneto and fed him misinformation."

Rogue shook her head-there was something in Asli's voce that compelled her to listen, to believe it all.  Why would Asli actually follow through with the plan? There was enough metal in her body for Magneto to make the other girl's life a torment if he found out about her perfidy. Why would she risk it simply to save one child? "My gawd, you really do care for the big lug don't you?" 

A blush was visible on Asli's cheeks even in the dim lights of the club, "That doesn't matter.  The only way you're ever going to stop Magneto is to erode his power base from the inside.  Gambit and I are working on that but we can't do it alone…and we couldn't worry about liabilities like Illyana getting in the way.  Appealing to Xavier's paternal side was the only solution, now both of them will be safe."

"And you're going back to face Magneto's wrath?" Rogue couldn't hide her doubt, "He's gonna be pissed that you lost Pitor to Xavier."

Asli and Gambit shared a loaded look then turned back to Rogue.  She could see the unasked question in their eyes-it drew a groan from Rogue, "Ya'll want me to come with ya as a peace offerin' doncha?"

"Well _Chère, de Bucket-Head would be pleased to think he had lured you away." Gambit's eyes glowed in the dim, "His joy at seeing you might make him forget Petey and save de _Petite's_ hide."_

Rogue backed away not liking how much sense it made if they were in fact telling her the truth.  "Why should I trust either of you?  You've been lyin' to me Asli…I just can't forget that."

"Then absorb me." Asli's eyes were calm and serious, "Look into my mind and then if you decide you still don't trust me I'll take my chances with Mags alone."

Dumbfounded Rogue stared at Asli not quite believing her own ears, "What?"

"You heard me Rogue." Asli locked eyes with the younger girl allowing her to see just how far she was willing to go to stop Magneto, "Take off your glove and touch me.  Take whatever you want from my mind and use that to help you decide because the choice is yours.  I won't force you, but don't be too chicken to at least find out if I'm lying to you."

Silence descended as Rogue wrestled with all of the information in front of her.  Making her decision; Rogue slipped off her right glove and brought it to Asli's face. 


	6. Hiding Underwater

Note: Okay it's everyone's lucky day! Not one…not two but three new chapters and the close of this fic…look for the sequel soon…but not too soon-I have two performances and a big newspaper article to write this week.

Please, please tell me what you think…especially with how I portrayed Asli's past….

-Thanks-

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**Six**

The skin of Asli's cheek was soft; almost downy-Rogue had a few seconds to revel in the warmth that flowed from the other girl in waves.  With a lurch the hyperawareness that always accompanied her powers kicked in and Asli's consciousness began to meld with her own.  Ripping her hand away Rogue and the hacker fell to the ground in sync; as she hit the floor Rogue was grasped by the force of Asli's memories.

**********************

_She was looking up at the most beautiful woman she had ever seen; her long curling chestnut hair shone in the sunshine, her pointed pale face drawn with sadness as she gazed at her gloved hands.  Asli didn't understand why her face was so sad.  "Mum? Why do you wear those gloves all the time?"  She heard her own voice asking in its childish singsong. _

_"Because _mo nighean_, when I touch things with me hands all the thoughts of all the people who have touched it afore me rush inta my brain hurly-burly like…"  Even at five years old she could see the weight pushing down on her beautiful mother._

*************************

_She was supposed to be asleep-but she couldn't help it-she wanted to see her mother in the pretty dress that had been made special so that she could accompany Daddy to a dinner in his honour.  Asli preened-she didn't know anyone else with such an important scientist for a daddy-or with a mother as beautiful as her own.  Peeking around the corner she could see them dancing together in the living room to soft music-their eyes locked as if there was no one else in the world but themselves.  Asli wished that she could have someone stare at her _that_ way when she was grown up.  Crawling back to her bed Asli thanked all the stars that her mummy and daddy loved each other so much._

*************************

_She was so happy and proud-not only had she gotten an A on her math assignment but the principal had decided it would be more of a challenge if she started taking junior high level math-even if she was still only in grade four. She couldn't wait to see the look on her mother's face.  Her father would pick her up in his arms and twirl her around-telling her that she was the brightest girl in the world.  _

_Asli forgot to kick her shoes off at the door she was so excited-instead she rushed into the kitchen where her mum would be making dinner.  The kitchen was empty.   "Mummy!" Asli ran into the T.V room but it too was empty, so was the dinning room.  Mounting the stairs Asli shouted again, "Mummy! I have the most wonderful news!"_

_Turning Asli ran into her parent's bedroom; her mother's blue silk robe was gone from its peg-she had to be in the bath.  Determined to surprise her Asli crept to the bathroom door then swung it open, "Silly Mummy having a bath in the middle of the day!" _

_Mummy's head was resting on the edge of the tub, her dark hair damp and streaming over her face, back and breasts-she looked asleep.  "Mummy?" Asli moved closer-something didn't seem right-her Mum never took a nap in the tub; it was dangerous.  _

_The water was a pale pink-the colour they had painted Asli's room the year before.  Moving closer Asli shook her Mum's shoulder gently but she still didn't move.  "Mummy?" Asli was getting scared, so very scared she could taste it coppery in the back of her throat. _

_Screwing up her bravery Asli reached into the tub and pulled at her Mum's arm.  It took a few minutes to grasp the deep cuts running down the pale, blue flesh.  Then it clicked, her mother was cold-lifeless-the pink of the water was blood that had been her life-force.   Tears welled in Asli's eyes as she dropped her perfect math homework-her beautiful, perfect, sad mother was dead._

*************************

_Asli's eyes were dry but red as she held her Daddy's hand and watched her Mum's coffin lower into the cold, hard ground.  Daddy was shaking with sobs-in fact he hadn't stopped since he had come home and found Asli crying beside the tub that held her Mum's body._

_Daddy had hardly looked at her since that day-his handsome face had become lean and haggard-he was positively grey with grief.  He had loved Mummy so much-now she was gone and he was shattered.  Asli decided that she would be strong for him-Mummy would have wanted that._

*************************

_"Where are we going Daddy?" Asli twisted her head around to watch her surroundings-especially the large grey building rising in front of them, "Is that your work?"_

_Daddy didn't answer-he just stared straight ahead.  He had been so quiet it scared Asli-Mummy had been quiet too.  She had to wonder if Daddy was dead too-he was walking around but he seemed every bit as dead as Mummy had._

_They walked to the building where Daddy swiped a card through a little machine-doors slid open to for them to enter.  The hallway smelled like a hospital, Asli wrinkled her nose; "I don't think I like it here Daddy."_

_He ignored her and gripped her hand so tight Asli cried out and struggled against him.   Without a word he pulled his hand back and slapped her cheek-hard.  Tears stung Asli's eyes as pain shot through her face; but she stopped fighting him.  Trying hard not to cry Asli obediently followed him through the steel doors pushing down her fear with every step._

*************************

_Pain bright and arching shot through Asli's legs; burning and itching at the same time-but they wouldn't move.  Biting down on her lip Asli tried to move her legs again-but it was as if they were encased in cement and there sharp things pricking at her skin.  Asli swung her head towards the door as it whispered open to reveal _HIM _standing there coldly, "Good morning 24601, I see the drugs have worn off."_

_Shifting painfully Asli turned her back to _HIM_-she wouldn't let _HIM_ have the satisfaction of knowing she hurt.  "You can ignore me all you want 24601-it seems I have finally found a compound that your body won't reject.  We shall be operating on your arms in two days."_

_Tears ran down Asli's pale face as she considered the new pain that would begin in two days time.  Crying quietly, Asli listened as her own personal devil left the room-her father had never even bothered to ask for forgiveness for hurting her._

*************************

_"Good again 24061-this time I want you to attack me," the burly feral man intoned gravely._

_"I can't do it." 24601 shook her head in frustration, "I'm not a solider-I can't fight."_

_Snarling he rushed at her allowing the metal in his hands shooting out ready to stab deep in to her flesh.  Without thinking she moved backwards into a cartwheel and kicked his hands away.  Spinning she brought her foot to his head the way he had been trying so hard to teach her.  Her soft shoe made contact spending his head around.  _

_24601 landed and watched him with trepidation.  A slow smile spread on his rough face, "Good at least you can defend yourself girl."_

*************************

_24601 could feel her eyes darken as she drained the information she sought out of the computer-no secret could be hidden from her searching mind.  Finished she moved her hand away and stepped backwards-turning she walked towards the door to the control room careful to move around the dead body of the guard who had tried to stop her from accomplishing her mission._

*************************__

_24601 could feel _HIS _cold, grey eyes on her back-_HE_ had begun to watch her more closely in the last few weeks.  She had taken a quick look in a mirror after a training sim and had been struck by how much she was beginning to look like her Mother-but _HIS _eyes still stared out at her.  24601 had shattered the mirror in an effort to make it go away. _

*************************__

_Flames licked the walls-24601 had no idea what had happened to start the fire but she was going to use this surprise to her advantage-she was tired of being another drone for them to order about.  "Asli!" A rough voice called out from the depths of the inferno._

_24601 peered into the flame and saw _HIM_ crushed up against one of his beloved machines struggling to get free to escape.  _HE _stretched out a hand to her, "Asli, daughter help me…the fire is everywhere!"_

_Silently 24601 smiled and turned her back-after all the years of torment it was time for her revenge.  With each step that took her away from _HIM_ she grew stronger, taking back the pieces of herself she had shed for them.  _

_Six years after first entering the center Asli Fraser Carter stepped out into the sunlight-and freedom._

*************************__

_"You look awful young to be on your own Honey," The waitress drawled raking her eyes up and down Asli's slight form._

_"I take care of myself just fine Ma'am." Was her reply._

_"No good Piece of garbage!" a voice shouted from the back of the restaurant-a man stormed out, "Mavis can you get that Grandson of yours down here that damn computer froze again."_

_Asli's ears perked up, "I can fix it for you."_

*************************__

_Cypher smiled as she watched the numbers cycle-thirty more seconds and it was all hers-open access to Pentagon memos.  National Security took a backslide to her desire to know why Carter had been allowed to operate his 'experiments' with impunity._

*************************__

_There was no time to fight when strong arms wrapped themselves around her-one hand careful to cover her mouth and block her screams.  Desperate she kicked backwards but it had as much effect as kicking a brick wall.  A high velocity syringe hissed below her ear and Cypher could actually feel the needle pierce her skin.  It didn't take long for the world to darken around the edges as the drug took affect.  _

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_Each of her limbs felt as if they had been dipped in lead as Cypher struggled to swim to reality's surface.  Slowly, she managed to open an eye but all there was to focus on was a huge muscular chest.  An equally large hand lifted her chin so that she could look into her captor's deep blue eyes. _

_Cypher was no judge but the eyes seemed to be concerned about her. A deep voice echoed through the barrel chest as he muttered something she supposed was soothing in Russian.  Deciding discretion was the better part of valour Cypher fell back into the darkness._

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_"_Я сожалею о вашей боли___." __His voice was soft._

_"You said that to me when I woke up in your arms."  Asli recognized the soft words he had murmured to ease her mind, "What does it mean?"_

_He stopped and looked as sheepish as a man standing nearly seven feet tall could, "I'm sorry for your pain."_

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_Quietly, Cypher made her way into Magneto's control room-if Gambit's calculations were right she had fifteen minutes to get what she was looking for and get out.  Pushing up her sleeve, Cypher pressed her hand to the controls and opened up. _

_Cypher quickly plumed the depths of Magneto's ruthlessness-anger burned deep in her chest when she came to Pitor's file.  Stamping it down with prejudice Cypher saved everything into her memory until she could find a way to make Magneto atone for his sins._

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_"You want to double cross de Bucket-Head _Petite_?" Remy lifted one eyebrow sceptically, "It only be your first two weeks-you're moving a bit fast _hein_?"_

_Cypher grinned, "What can I say-bringing megalomaniacal super villains to their knees is what gets me up in the morning.  So are you in or out?"_

_A wide smirk grew on Remy's face and Cypher knew he was on her side, "Oh Remy be in…it ain't every day ya get to pull de wool over his eyes."_

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_"Of course Asli," she watched Professor X lean back and consider all she had shared with him, "I will do anything I can to help you."_

_Asli let a genuine smile light her face-perhaps this could all work out with a minimum of bloodshed, "I was hoping you'd say that."_

_"Why?"_

_She took a breath before dropping her bomb shell, "I want Rogue to come with me."_

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_He leaned downwards, moving his hand along Asli's chin to rest against her neck.  So slowly that Asli felt anticipation shooting through her every limb Pitor kissed her lips.  At first he was gentle and Asli could not help but return the kiss-emotion churning her stomach-but the passion built between them and the kiss deepened.  _

_Asli was about to curl her arms around Pitor's waist to pull her body closer when she stopped-this could not happen.  She knew full well the lengths the Russian would go to for those he loved-and there was no way Asli wanted to be used against him-or to have him used against her.  The need to protect Pitor even from loving her was a splash of cold water on Asli's heart and she forced herself to pull away.  _

_Without a word Asli pushed past Pitor and walked towards her room feeling his deep eyes boring into her back with each step.  It took all her strength not to turn back and fall into his arms-to take all that his kiss had promised.  She slammed the door to the room she shared with Jean shut behind her and hoped that Pitor would leave before she had to meet Rogue. _

_The beating of her heart signalled that the closeness they had felt had become more.  Ruthlessly Asli crushed that new born sentiment-she had seen the ravages of love firsthand-and she cared too much about Pitor to make him a causality of that particular war._

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_"Then absorb me." Asli made sure to keep her eyes calm and serious, "Look into my mind and then if you decide you still don't trust me I'll take my chances with Mags alone."_

_She watched Rogue carefully for a reaction-she could see the shock plain on the Gothic girl's face, "What?"_

_"You heard me Rogue." Asli locked eyes with the younger girl allowing her to see just how far she was willing to go to stop Magneto, "Take off your glove and touch me.  Take whatever you want from my mind and use that to help you decide because the choice is yours.  I won't force you, but don't be too chicken to at least find out if I'm lying to you."_

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Rogue snapped back into reality shaking her head as she absorbed the fractured images from Asli's mind.  Tears streamed from her eyes-she had never thought there would be so much pain, such unrelieved suffering in the older girl's scarred psyche.  

But Asli had been right-Rogue knew the truth.  There was no way anything Cypher had found in Magneto's computer files could be allowed to come to fruition.  As far as Rogue was concerned there was only one way to do that.  Rogue was going to have to help Cypher and Gambit with their crazy hair brained scheme.  

Rogue was going to become an Acolyte.


	7. Krac's Important Words!

Author's Note

Okay, If you've read 'Shadows and Fog' you've heard that I'm using Chapter titles to create 'mini soundtracks'.  Here we go for 'Illusions and Half Truths'

Best You Can Get – Veruca Salt

If it isn't Her – Ani DiFranco (You knew there would be some Ani)

Walk Away – Ben Harper

Beautiful – Joydrop

Breathe In – Frou Frou

Hiding Underwater – Beth Hart

Okay guys I decided to be very very nice and get the lyrics for the songs I suggested…I don't own any of them…the artists, record companies and publishers do…

**Veruca**** Salt – Best You Can Get **

She's all crazy and shit  
She shows off her tits  
She's just a corn-fed white-bred chick  
Born in the right zip code  
She comes with a gold card  
She'll never have to pay for it  
  
What would she do without you?  
What would she do without you?  
What would she do?  
  
He's not afraid of the future  
He's hot off the platter  
He's been handed a blank check  
Phi beta date rape ya  
He's brung an agenda  
And he's got a place to put it  
  
What would he do without you?  
What would he do without you?  
What would he do?  
  
Is this the best that you can get?  
Is this the best that you can get?  
(the best that you can get, the best that you can get)  
Is this the best that you can get?  
(the best that you can get)  
  
What did you expect?  
  
I'm not afraid of the ocean, afraid of devotion  
I've got the balls to prove it  
  
What would I do without you  
What would I do without you  
What would I do without you  
  
what would I do  
what would I do  
what would I do  
what would I do without you  
what would I do without you  
what would I do without you  
what would I do without you  
what would I do-oo  
what would I do-oo  
what would I do-oo  
what would I do 

**Ani**** DiFranco - "If It Isn't Her"**  
  
standing like john Wayne  
she is full framed  
she is center stage  
and my imagination is  
rattling in its cage  
I didn't really notice  
when everything else disappeared  
but as far as I'm concerned  
if it isn't her  
it isn't here  
  
she says do I know you  
I say well, no, not biblically  
but I've been waiting for you come  
and talk to me  
I have been playing  
too many of those boy girl games  
she says honey you are safe here  
this is a girl girl thing  
  
I told him I loved him  
so he thought I'd roll over and play dead  
he was god's gift to hypocrisy  
with weak knees and a big fat head  
she says honey don't tell me  
that old story  
you are boring me  
just tell me do you like me  
tell me what you're gonna do  
now that you're free  
  
standing like john wayne  
she is full framed  
she is center stage  
and my imagination  
is rattling in its cage  
I didn't really notice  
when everything else disappeared  
but as far as I'm concerned  
if it isn't her  
it isn't here  
as far as I'm concerned  
if it isn't her  
it isn't here  
  


**Ben Harper - "Walk Away"**  
  
Oh no- here comes that sun again.   
And (that) means another day without you my friend.   
And it hurts me to look into the mirror at myself.   
And it hurts even more to have to be with somebody else.   
  
And it's so hard to do and so easy to say.   
But sometimes - sometimes,   
you just have to walk away - walk away.   
  
With so many people to love in my life, why do I worry about one?   
But you put the happy in my ness, you put the good times into my fun.   
  
And it's so hard to do and so easy to say.   
But sometimes - sometimes,   
you just have to walk away - walk away and head for the door.   
  
We've tried the goodbye so many days.   
We walk in the same direction so that we could never stray.   
They say if you love somebody than you have got to set them free,   
but I would rather be locked to you than live in this pain and misery.   
They say time will make all this go away,   
but it's time that has taken my tomorrows and turned them into yesterdays.   
And once again that rising sun is droppin' on down   
And once again, you my friend, are nowhere to be found.   
  
And it's so hard to do and so easy to say.   
But sometimes, sometimes you just have to walk away, walk away and head for the door.   
You just walk away - walk away - walk away.   
You just walk away, walk on, turn and head for the door.  
  
  


**Joydrop**** - Beautiful**

If I was beautiful like you, 

Oh the things I would do  
those not so blessed would be crying out murder

And I'd just laugh and get away  
with it too. Like you do.  
  
If I was beautiful like you,

I would never be at fault  
I'd walk in the rain between the raindrops, 

Bringing traffic to a halt.  
  
But that will never be, 

That will never ever be. 

Cuz I'm not beautiful like you.  
I'm beautiful like me.  
  
If I was beautiful like you, 

I'd be quick to assume, 

That they'd do anything to please me 

Why not? I see their reaction when you walk into the room.  
  


But that will never be, 

That will never ever be. 

Cuz I'm not beautiful like you.  
I'm beautiful like me.  
  
  
If I was beautiful like you,

I'd have so many friends 

Always fighting for my time  
to be next in line. 

So if I hurt one, I wouldn't have to make amends.  
  


But that will never be, 

That will never ever be. 

Cuz I'm not beautiful like you.  
I'm beautiful like me.  
  


**Frou**** Frou - Breathe In**

I - read you - and god I'm good at it - I'm so spot on  
Chord - shapes in air - go press that dissonance - if you dare  
And you - breathing in - finesse an innocent  
From her partying  
  
And I'm high enough from all the waiting  
To ride a wave on your inhaling  
And I'm high enough from all the waiting  
To ride a wave on your inhaling  
Cause I love you no?  
Can't help but love, you know...  
  
What - part of no - don't you understand - I've told you before  
To just get - off my case - this isn't happening - stop this now  
And I - where was I? - I have to be somewhere  
Now where did I put it?  
  
And I'm high enough from all the waiting  
To ride a wave on your inhaling  
And I'm high enough from all the waiting  
To ride a wave on your inhaling  
Cause I love you no?  
Can't help but love you, no...  
  
Is this it - is this it - is this it?  
  
Yes - hello we're back - and we're taking calls   
Now what was the question?  
  
And I'm high enough from all the waiting  
To ride a wave on your inhaling  
And I'm high enough from all the waiting  
To ride a wave on your inhaling  
Cause I love you no?  
Can't help but love you, no...

**Beth Hart – Hiding Underwater**

  
Heaven don't want me  
Heaven don't fool me  
No one will understand  
and its alright  
  
Feeling these changes  
Everybody is strangers  
No one will lend a hand  
And I guess that's life  
(1 2 3 4)  
  
Ya say you got a feeling  
You figured out the writing on the wall  
And angels on the ceiling  
Don't calm you, when you call  
So you found your own religion  
And search your heart for something more  
Stood naked in the kitchen, tryin to wipe yourself off of the floor  
  
No I won't take you for granted  
These broken arms can hold you  
No I wont take you for granted, yeah  
  
You say it don't matter  
You're living life and living alone  
And hear the phoney laughter  
Echoing on and on   
You're hiding under water  
I pray to god wash me away  
Cant hear the child's wonder  
The innocence got hushed along the way  
  
No I wont take you for granted  
These broken arms can hold you  
No I wont take you for granted  
  
No I wont leave you abandoned  
This broken heart can love you still  
No I wont take you for granted  
  
And you don't say you will  
But inside I know  
And you don't say that it hurts  
And tonight you've shown  
All the love in the world  
Wont let you let go  
  
Let you let go-o-o-o  
  
Hold on your soul will rise again  
I know that it will  
Hold on you're soul will rise again  
I say that it will  
Hold on your soul will rise again  
I know that it will now  
  
Heaven don't want me  
Heaven don't fool me  
No one could give a damn  
And I guess that's life  
  
You say ya got a feeling..... 

**__**

  
  
  


  
  



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